Odessa
GRRR...the CPAP and I have really a hate, hate relationship. It hates me and I hate it. So why do I keep trying to use it? Well, for one thing, the doctor scared the pants off me when he said that my oxygen level was down to 50% sometimes and that could cause a sroke or heart attack. And he said that I would feel much better if I got some decent rest (and he went to medical school for that???)
At any rate, I have been trying every night to use the %^&*() thing. I did get one full night in with it...then the trouble started. For what ever reason my brain says I am suffocating when I put the mask on. No sh..!!! Just because I can't breathe out means I am suffocating? So what do I do? I yank the mask off and throw it across the room...detaching it from the CPAP in the process. I turn off the CPAP, get up in search of the mask...in the dark. Then I either have to turn on the light and wake AL and the dogs up or try and put this thing back together in the dark. Instead I give up and go back to sleep without it. This has taken place every night but one. That damn machine is winning. Now, anyone that knows me, knows that I won't stand for that.
Today I loaded up said CPAP (actually, I was corrected today and told it was a BiPAP) and drove to Moses Lake to see what they could to to help me get used to this monster. After trying several masks on, I finally settled on a full face mask. I know, I know, you CPAP users are cringing at the thought, but I actually found it more comfortable..at least while I was in the office. We shall see what transpires tonight. I look like the alien from outer space with this "thing" on my face. But if it works, I will live with it..after all this isn't a damn beauty contest..right? It's all about me being able to breathe and as long as I don't look in a mirror and scare the daylights out of myself I should be fine.
Stay tuned..............
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